Dec 22: These days the market of ‘second marriage’ is booming in India with increased rate of divorced men and women opting for remarriages or second marriage. Various websites with the theme of second marriage and their growing number of registered users put an obvious question of the survival of the so called traditional marriage institution.
On looking at the metropolitan cities in India we find large number of people, who are either not happy with their married life or seeking divorce. What a major concern is the increasing uncertainty among young partners in a fast pace metro life in which they feel secure of being economically independent.
Earlier there was a lot of apprehension and hesitation on looking for a partner for the second time but it has now become a usual trend in urban life. Though second marriage of widow women is understandable and a welcome social aspect but divorce among young married couples is a signal of our eroding socio-cultural values.
It’s not that divorces crop up only in arranged marriage case but also among couples who were bonded since long through mutual love relations. There can be several external factors as financial crisis, career oriented interest or simply another interest in love life but all those indirectly proportional with the matching of a natural wavelength, mutual understanding with a new level of intimacy and loyalty that works together to keep the love alive.
There is always a common question why most love marriages fails and this is because before marriage we tend to look at only the positive aspects of our partner and try to identify ourselves with him/her but after marriage in the absence of new emotional attachment we started comparing the person with others as a result of our individual demands thereby generating convolution.
As far as individual demands in professional or social life are concerned, it is the modern life in which neither ‘He’ nor ‘She’ depends much on each other for financial security. In metro cities where two educated couple are well qualified to sustain themselves, they feel less dependent on each other.
The reasons of the failure of a marriage can be of anything including estrangements, misunderstandings, arguments, bitterness which are a result of increasing expectation with the needs of the individuals. With so much marital woes some marriages can’t be, just can’t be saved but at the same time divorce is not going to be the solution. One needs to find out about the inner workings of a marriage.
People do go through a lot of sweat and tears to make a solid married life and sometimes out of all odds they try to make the best of bad situation. Some get success and some fail just due to lack of exclusive love and loyalty. Therefore it is important for everyone to use the best emotional tools by understanding the actual state of mind of his/her partner.
Earlier divorce was not socially acceptable and with the decline of traditional patriarchal society along with various marriage acts in operation for different communities, getting or giving divorce is now an easy affair. Only in rural section the social and cultural stigma of being a divorced person exists but urban life scenario is different.
However, it is believed that the rate of divorce may slow down in coming days with a culmination of various things such as decline in marriage rate, growing number of single person, marriage at an older age and the fear of consequence of divorce or having a live-in- relationship. But it is always wise to find out everything about the partner, before making the final commitment though there are still many questions which are left unasked.
designbugJuly 14, 2008 at 12:00 AM
NRIDivorceJanuary 1, 2008 at 12:00 AM